As Muslims, we are held to a higher standard through verses of the Qur’an which command humans to be kind and respesctful towards their parents, so long as their reasoning is just and fails within obedience to The Creator (Qur’an 2:233, 17:23, 31:14-15). Parents have also been commanded to do right by their children, as they will be held to account on the Day of Judgment (Qur’an 66:6, Hadith of the Sheperd: Sahih al-Bukhari, 6719).

More productive than ‘telling’ is ‘speaking with’ our parents. First, to understand their persepctive, and second, to help them understand our perspective. When trying to understand our parent’s point of view, treat it as an opportunity to learn – ask questions, examine thier truths, listen to their stories, inquire as to how they developed principles of belief around life, dress code, faith, career, or what defines ‘success’. Then, be prepared to share your perspective and engage in a dialogue as if someone was proof -reading your summative essay for Grade 12 English. Be open-minded to receive thier constructive, crticial thoughts. Allow yourself to listen without judging or assuming negative intent.

Understand that choosing ‘a’ path is not a definite choice. Searching for and finding your path is an ongiong experience that will require many steps. Your parents are and will be your life-long guides as you tread your path in life. Work together with your parents and allow them the opportunity to fulfill their respective roles and continue to negotiate with tem as your real talents emerge.

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