Having lived in both Texas and Toronto, I can say that the lifestyles of these two places are drastically different, from the weather, to the food, and even the accents. But I think the biggest difference is the diversity. I never noticed the lack of diversity in Texas, despite having lived  there for nine years, but I always felt a little bit out of place. I was fortunate enough not to be harassed, but still received stares when I was in public with my mother, who wears the hijab.

Living in Texas, I was afraid to acknowledge my religion most of the time. There were times I didn’t want anyone to know that I was Muslim. When friends asked me what I got for Christmas, I would pretend not to hear or change the subject. I would offer friends my gelatin marshmallows and gummy bears. They thought I was just being polite. Don’t get me wrong, I would go to prayers and dress modestly, but I never felt truly Muslim because I spent more time trying to hide the fact that I was. I didn’t notice that I was forgetting my identity, in the way I acted, in the way I spoke, and in the way I dressed. I tried so hard to fit in, but I couldn’t. There were some genuine accepting people, but that didn’t mean I could hide my Egyptian skin, Palestinian hair, or Islamic faith. Alhamdulillah (All praise is due to Allah), I finally found a place that made me feel accepted.

Almost two years later, I came to Toronto and I was speechless seeing women with hijabs walking around without fear, or hearing the adhan sound from people’s cell phones without them hurrying to shut it off. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Everyone was happier. When I started school here and Ramadan came around, I wasn’t the only one fasting, or the only one in restaurants asking if the meat was halal. It wasn’t just the other Muslims that shocked me, it was everyone. Canadians knew that we didn’t celebrate Christmas, but celebrated Eid. I must confess, seeing the smaller things like Eid trinkets in local stores, and not having to drive hours to find a shawarma shop made me the happiest. While it’s true that the diversity did not stop my classmates from making jokes about Islam or stop the looks, I was now more confident and did not feel like I had to hide anymore. Now, I love everything about living in Toronto, but if I could go back in time, I would tell seventh grade me that she should not have been so scared and should have dared to be different.